I got some news from a friend about what people say when I’m not around. I hear people talk around me, about me all the time. But lately, it’s just too much to deal with. I have my long road ahead of me. People get off at their stops and I cope with that. But to stay on and just ride, just for your own enjoyment (or if you like to complain about things, unpleasantness), how does that make me the one you tear down. In this past week alone I have broken under stress and the shear pressure of life twice. I say things I later take back, but I don’t do or create anything that can’t be amended or regretted. So for those of you who do, for those of you who ever have. Think.
“I speak in a calm voice. I hear what you say, anything you could possibly think about me I have thought. The saddest part is that the thought I have least for myself is love. And it is just. Why have a thought that so few seem to share, on anything? Why choose the least likely idea to a meld of minds? But I don’t deny the thought of another. I take in all thoughts equally. And I don’t expect the same, I don’t expect understanding. Not even pity or comfort. I am human, all I ask is to be treated like one. Some of you talk, and I know you. Others, neither side knows the other. But I don’t deny a single ounce of you to my own ideals. You don’t have to love me. But as a planet, we live here together. You don’t have to like me or do anything for me. And you know what, that is your thought. And for me to hear and live through what I do, by choice, by genetics, by whatever suits your mind is beyond me at times. I have a thought for me, and that’s respect. You may never really know me, nor I you. And for me that is a shame. But if you want to know me as an idea of your own device, then you know nothing. The loss was never mine to be had. I am not perfect. I know by every mean, but I know that one is that I will cause some of these meetings to go unmet. For some, it hurts me. It runs my mind in circles. Others. Well sometimes you can just tell someone’s thoughts before they hit the air. I am a person of understanding, beyond when it hurts. If you feel the need to voice your opinion or point out something I failed to see, then I will take it in, whether known or unknown. There is so much a person can do for their own life when their environment runs them down. And for me, I see a lot of people of my past, of my present, that seem to be lost in their own world and just like watching and talking about the sitcom that is mine. Perhaps just in passing perhaps in depth. Talk if it makes you feel better. Think what you have to if it brings you to a more secure, higher place of being. But don’t think I won’t know. If you want to know something, know this. It effects me. If you want to hurt, vent or just voice your opinion and feel just, know what it does. If I could ask one thing of all of you talkers and thinkers out there it would be to use what you do for what it was created for. Thinking. If not for me, then pay it forward. But for every person for any reason you cut down, be reminded of a time you were mistreated. Disowned. Left out. You feel that. Put it to daily use and you’ll feel a little of what I do. It’s a common feeling for any person and any situation, it’s adaptable. I am here to live, be it the hardest thing I do both for myself or against the simple minded. And live is what we do. I just have to live while dealing with you. Again, I don’t ask that of you. But know, if your going to use your mind, use it now. It would be a waste not to. Have a deep thought for me. Follow the road about anything you want. And when you’ve walked it, every inch of it, come find me if you feel like it. Respect your final thoughts or not, I will still be listening.”