so if that is the story i might be having a love affair with your brother then. do i know you from somewhere?
when i fall,
the drop drags on through timeless cascades.
thought drenched motions
endlessly motioning me
to take notice of what i was told to be,
a battle of fighting with me
deciding that no one is better
but push me downward,
make it feel as though i were lesser.
these eyes that only see
believe that the lives that live
will never be me, because i never have
nor gave any breath to you that you take.
in strides, you move on
left me to let it be.
bringing these soaked hands
to assemble, the person you shoved from that ledge
now frantically focusing to forget the thoughts,
to resemble some person i used to know
bandaging wounds and they’re stewing.
blood clotted patches,
the scratches you left till this moment..
you knew what you were doing.
the remarks you made that i can’t escape.
they return every time another walks away.
but never have I fallen, but every time I dread
taking these emotions and shoving them down instead
oh are they now mr. mysterious? do i get to ask you questions to figure out who you are?
oh jeez. i have no tattoos, only my one nose piercing. i really would like to get some tattoos but i have one, the problem i am having difficulty drawing them and two, lack of money
thank you mr. mysterious. i do happen to have long legs, it comes with being a skyscraper
i don’t find it creepy at all. unless you found a hard copy, then i might wonder how you got into my room :p. but yeah ha. i am curious as to who you are now
i am pushing the end. i can’t fight this depression anymore. it’s starting to make me not want to leave my bed. it’s killing me inside. everything is overwhelming
you actually brought tears to my eyes. it means a lot probably because not many people i know will tell me these things. i feel i pushed them away with all the negativity that can consume me from time to time and i really can’t seem to help it. it’s just. it’s overwhelming. i am lost with out a kind word from another when my words are far more harsh than anything i have heard. thank you for just sending me this. it really means more than you may ever think
i’m ugly and freakish. i’m manly. i’m worthless, a loser, a waste of space. i am so unsure of myself. i am weak on the inside and losing strength on the outside. i am dying..
but most of all, i am scared and really, really lonely right now.
i am gonna stop blogging for a bit. otherwise all this negativity will end up all over the place. i’d rather just have it explode inside of me. it’s better for everyone if i just keep to myself and continue feeling unwanted, lonely and worthless.