when i fall
when i fall,
the drop drags on through timeless cascades.
thought drenched motions
endlessly motioning me
to take notice of what i was told to be,
a battle of fighting with me
deciding that no one is better
but push me downward,
make it feel as though i were lesser.
these eyes that only see
believe that the lives that live
will never be me, because i never have
nor gave any breath to you that you take.
in strides, you move on
left me to let it be.
bringing these soaked hands
to assemble, the person you shoved from that ledge
now frantically focusing to forget the thoughts,
to resemble some person i used to know
bandaging wounds and they’re stewing.
blood clotted patches,
the scratches you left till this moment..
you knew what you were doing.
the remarks you made that i can’t escape.
they return every time another walks away.
but never have I fallen, but every time I dread
taking these emotions and shoving them down instead